Fa la la la holy crap

My friend Allison says; "That is what happens when you live somewhere it doesn't snow"

She's right. And this is hilarious. Best part? This picture only captures about half of what was at this house. 

Kind of makes you wonder what these people are "rocking" around their Christmas tree. Man I bet they make some good Eggnog!

"Mom, why the hell is there a homeless man staying in our garage?"

Where I grew up in VT, people don't live in ski-chalets, milk maple syrup from trees early in the morning, or live next door to Ben&Jerry.

Oh no. Who would want to be that fancy? Instead, my family has "Deer Camp".

Deer Camp where I am from, is a place (whether in your 2 car garage at your actual house, or at a log cabin in the woods), where hunters and random vagrants sit around telling stories, playing cards and drinking liquor and beer until they pass out. Wake-up call is something absurd like 3am, at which point the gents make and feast on a huge breakfast (usually something like bacon, eggs, venison sausage, or anything that would make a vegan puke at the thought.) Next it's out to sit in the woods before dawn, likely up in a tree, most always in sub-zero temperatures, snow and all- in hopes a deer will stroll by that you can shoot at.

If you are "lucky" you'll shoot one dead and get to drag it about 17 miles out of the woods and hang it in a tree until it's ready to hack up or eat. (Example displayed in these lovely and completely unoffensive photos I took when I was home last week.)

Here's to simultaneously loving where you came from and thanking god you got the hell out long ago. Although, I guess visiting home and being called "City Girl" by a bunch of deer campers has it's charm on occasions.

Breakin' the law

So this morning as usual, I used the mens bathroom instead of the women's-even though I am female. I do this about 50% of the time because my fellow ladies always take way too long and it drives me bonkers. Ladies; What the hell could you possibly be doing in there? Seriously, does my pee come out faster than yours or something? I manage to pee, wash hands, mirror check and still get in and out in under a minute or two. 

Check out this sign and article on the subject. 

Illegal to use the bathroom of the opposite sex?! WHAT!? Lock me up then and throw away the key then! I am not going to start waiting in that freaking line with the rest of the ladies of the world anytime soon.

GET UP!

I shared the Hungry Hiker breakfast the last week at Up For Breakfast. Oh how yummy the pancakes were at this Manchester, VT spot. (Oops, I forgot to take the picture before I starting eating. I got excited, what can I say?)

Yeah, I know I write about food all the time. Noshing is one of my favorite things to do. Particularly at mom-and-pop joints where you can meet the coolest and most interesting people and typically leave with your pants popping you're so full. Not to mention other great things like spending very little money, tasting homemade/local fare and being referred to as "honey" or "sweetie". oh the pleasantries. 

They aren't kidding when they say up for breakfast. This place closes at noon, so forget sleeping in and getting late brunch drunkies. UP AND ATEM!

Wouldn't it be fabulous to get paid to eat? That Road Food guy should call me. I'd be a swell sidekick.

Honesty is the best policy

I drove past this sign on the side of the road on my way from Vermont to Virginia yesterday.

You can't help but love the honesty of some people. This is hilarious.

Enough said.

Erasers are cool

Yes-I am talking about pencil erasers. I used one today and thought; Huh, I wonder how these things work. 

Little things, little things.

Go take a flying leap

Someone told me a long time ago when I was stressing about what I should do "with the rest of my life", that "You just have to find something to give a shit about". Makes perfect sense actually. If you give a shit about something-you will most likely do it well or be good at it. 

If you are having one of those days (ugh, yes I can totally relate), ask yourself; What do I really give a shit about? And then beg, borrow and steal until you can figure out a way to make money at it.

I am currently attempting this because I know first hand trying to convince yourself to do something you don't really want to do, or hating your job pretty much blows. On the flip side- it pretty much rocks when you decide to do what you truly love. 

Rock it out people. There's no time like the present.

No raw sugar!?

Bfast this morning at Penny Cluse in Burlington, VT was good. A scrambled egg and white cheddar cheese sandwich on crispy and buttery sourdough is what I opted for. The rest of our table was filled with corn muffins, biscuits, chunky home fries, and huevos rancheros. YUM. 

This place is usually always packed, but being a Monday morning with the temperature at 1 degree (Brrrr...) left a few seats empty and ready to welcome us, along with a group of friendly and smiley hippie waitresses. The floors were wet and muddy from snow, and that fantastic chill, Vermonter relaxed mood made me happy. Too bad it is so effin cold there in the winter I could never hack it for more than a visit.  

At least I have this perfect spot to warm and fill me up when I'm there! Now if they could just stock some raw sugar for my coffee...

And then the eggs came...

(Yes- a lot of the titles I write will be my own randomness, or inside jokes you may not get. Just roll with it, they are funny-trust me.)

So I returned home from a wedding and tour around India about a week ago. 

Wow.

I am sure I will have plenty more stories and images to share from this trip, but I wanted to start with this one for a laugh. It is a camel approaching a toll booth, on a highway next to our bus, along with cars, bikes, scooters, rickshaws with a guy (see the dangling legs?) riding along.

 

Yes. Really. Oh- and there is SO much more...

The Pizza Nazi

You've been here, you just don't remember because you had too many car-bombs. Downtown Richmond, cash only, NY style pizza?...It's the pizza joint at 18th and Main. 

If you ever been here sober, you might find it offensive and never step foot inside again. I find it entertaining whether I am drunk or sober and choose ignore the filth. 

Plan on having your money ready and don't ask any questions. Pay, eat and get the hell out. That's the style and it's great. Time is money for these guys and when a hundred drunks are in line-they aren't screwing around with any chit-chat.

Here's a sign they have up. Check your attitude at the door, or your pie could get pricey.

You tell me where else at 2am you can buy a lighter, a condom, a hot slice of pizza, fight a crowd to get pissy service and possibly get puked on-all within 30 seconds. 

It's charming really.

Chocolate by the bald man

I think Max Brenner and I were separated at birth, so I am wondering how one of his chocolate fantasy land shops has been in NYC, and I have not heard about him or his shop until now. This place is like kryptonite for chocolate lovers. As in- you'd go weak at the knees and stare at the menu for hours trying to decide what to order, while random customers (including me) would wander around trying to actually lick the air.

There are Alice in Wonderland quotes on the website (that is a must for perusing) for that perfect match to the theme of fantasy along with e-chocolate that gets sent to you when you send them an email message. (Tell me that's not the cutest thing you ever gotten from another website before.)

Not only do the menu selections look like they could redefine "smack yo mamma good", but you can drink their delectable looking hot chocolate in The Hug Mug. A mug specially designed to hug with two hands while drinking, so it "creates the ultimate drinking experience of coziness warmth and fragrance." 

Oh my god.

One way ticket to NYC please. Final destination? Chocolate Neverland.

What Parachute?

You know those days you have when you think; What the hell should I do for the rest of my life? Well, I think that pretty much everyday. That's why I write this blog babble. I figure at some point someone might drop me a hundred bucks, offer me a book deal/super modeling contract, or expose me as the worst writer ever. Then I could be famous or something. (Yes, laugh here) Either way I'm just putting it all out there. Why the hell not? Please. Be entertained.

Here's an interesting little test/exercise to try when you are having one of these days. It just might revive those old thoughts you had about opening up a cupcake shop. 

Hey! Maybe that's what I'll do!

What color is my parachute? It depends on the day of the week. I have to keep it interesting...

Built in 1400 What!?

I am going to India next week. Seriously. Delhi, Taj Mahal-the whole she-bang. This is where I am staying for a few nights during my travel there. This place deserves a holy crap. Built in 1464. The Neemrana Fort-Palace.

I get to stay at this place? I am already speechless.

A delicious lid it was

If you're feeling like Tapas and Sangria-hit up La Tasca next time you are in Old Town Alexandria, VA. The food and drink were de-lish-but even more fun? The story of Tapas that La Tasca has on their menu. I like it:

Tapas means lid, or cover in Spanish. At the end of a long work day, farmers and laborers would go to local 'tascas' for a well-earned drink, on top they'd find a piece of bread to protect it from the flies. Little by little the innkeeper would place things on top of the bread such as cured meats and sausage as an accompanying snack. This edible lid was the start of tapas as we know them today.

How cool? There's your fun fact for the day!

My favorite eats at this spot were Pan a la Catalana (toasted bread topped with chopped garlic and tomato) and Patatas Bravas (deep fried potatoes in a spicy sauce.) And of course the Queso Manchego with olive oil and fresh tomato. YUM!

I'll take another Sangria please...

Just like on prom night

I Had a good ol' diner breakfast at the Amphora today. A friend used to frequent this place in high school 18 years ago between parties, after prom and at all hours of the night. She said it hadn't changed a bit. This 24/7 spot was chucked full of all the goodies you get at a diner that's open all night, like home made pastries lining all the counters, tons of locals, a huge menu and those fabulous hideous booths and light fixtures you can't help but love and get all nostalgic about. 

YUM. French toast coated in cinnamon. Slurp it up at Amphora.